Little Things
by TNOandXadric
Summary: Wherein an alcoholic cynic comes to Storybrooke and is unimpressed.


A couple that Snow had never seen before ducked into the diner just as she and Charming finished ordering. Judging by the sudden tension throughout the diner, the newcomers were strangers to everyone else as well. If Snow was any judge, the pair had been arguing before they entered; the woman's dark scowl and the obvious strain in the man's smile when Ruby greeted them made that obvious.

"…in _no_ mood to deal with this small town I-carved-these-souvenirs-with-my-bare-hands nonsense _sober_, Larry, and—" the woman was muttering as Ruby seated them in the booth behind Snow. Larry gestured placatingly as they sat down, and Snow felt her eyebrows raising.

"Dinner first, then a hotel, and then we'll find a bar," he said, sounding amused. "Besides, they have wine."

The woman only snorted derisively, but Ruby said, "If you two are looking for a room, the inn has some vacancies. I could talk to Granny for you."

"That'd be wonderful," Larry said, smiling. As Ruby left them with their menus, he added, "Come on, Jo, it's a vacation. Try to relax"

"We're lost. In the middle of nowhere. In _Maine_." Jo sniffed. "Next time I tell you to make your cousins come to us if they want to see you so badly you should listen to me."

Snow exchanged a worried glance with Charming. Storybrooke was already lousy with outsiders, and the last thing they needed right now was two more. Charming, clearly thinking the same thing, swiveled around in the booth and said, "If you're lost, you should talk to the sheriff. She can point you in the right direction."

Jo glared at him. "This is a private conversation, thank you, _sir_."

Charming blinked. "Just trying to be friendly," he said.

"Well, don't," Jo snapped.

Snow frowned. "It doesn't hurt anyone to be nice to our fellow human beings, surely," she said. "I think—"

"Congratulations."

"Don't cast aspersions on my wife!" Charming said, a little more waspishly than Snow thought was necessary. Larry's eyebrows rocketed towards his hairline, and Jo let out a sharp bark of laughter.

"Oh, that's darling," she said. "How soon will you two be celebrating your first anniversary?"

"Excuse me?"

"I know a honeymoon phase when I see one," Jo drawled. "I've lived through enough of them myself."

Snow's eyes widened to the point of pain. "You've been divorced?" she asked, horrified.

"Twice," Jo said, with great satisfaction. "And working on a third." Larry rolled his eyes. "Now. Either stop evading the question or direct us to the nearest bar so I can forget I ever asked it."

"For your information," Snow said stiffly, "We've been married for—" she hesitated for a bit of brief mental curse-math. "Going on three years now, _and _we have a daughter."

Jo smirked lazily. "So do I, and it doesn't mean a damn thing. I haven't seen the man in six years, and we've been divorced for twice that."

"You let your child grow up without a father?!" Charming said, sounding sick.

Jo's eyes flashed dangerously, but it was Larry who spoke, with a coldness that belied his previously kind demeanor. "Both of you should stop," he said. "Right now."

Charming looked at Snow and shrugged, and she mirrored the gesture. It wasn't their business what a couple of unhappy visitors did with their lives. Jo, however, was clearly not content to let bygones be bygones. "My daughter," she said, in precise, poisonous tones, "has a father. He isn't the man who donated half of her genes."

"But a child needs—"

"No. Don't speak. I don't know _how_ you two lovebirds managed to grow up without developing a basic understanding of the way the world works, but it ceases to be cute after you toddle up to your moral high ground to sneer down your noses at the decisions you don't approve of. In two more years, when you've discovered you want different things or you simply cannot stand each other any more, _then_ you are allowed to have an opinion about divorce and child custody."

Snow felt her lips purse. "That's not going to happen."

Jo's lips curled. "Of course not. You're in _love_, aren't you."

"That is what marriage is about," Charming said, with a pointed glance at Larry, who frowned back.

"Who told you _that_?" Jo asked. "Love might be the motive, but it definitely isn't the point. No one would get married if it were, don't you agree, Larry?"

"They would, I think," Larry said mildly, nodding towards Snow and Charming.

"No one with an ounce of intelligence would get married, then," Jo said.


End file.
